That Thing

That thing, the one hidden in the shady recesses of your mind. That thing that keeps you awake at night. That thing that subtly takes the edge off life. That thing that stops you being whole and happy until you’ve eradicated it, defeated it, transformed it, you know the “thing” I mean.

It’s the thing that makes you feel that you’re not quite good enough. And you’ve been waging war on that one thing that stops you being happy for most of your life. The thing that blocks you may be the same thing that you’ve been battling all your life, or your thing may change.

You may notice that once you overcome whatever it is that stops you being fully you, that another thing rises up to take its place and then you have to start all-over-again.

Or you could try something completely different. Instead of trying to iron out all your creases, you could try – for just one day – accepting and loving yourself with that big ugly shameful thing.

You could, just as a little experiment, try to love that thing that you’ve spent all your time hating and just see what happens. Or if you can’t summon up a little love for that thing that’s stopping you being gloriously perfect, you could try to accept that it’s part of you. And if you can’t quite do that either, you could imagine that the person you most love is afflicted by “your personal thing” and notice whether that makes you love them less.

Don’t waste your life trying to get rid of “that thing”, because you know what, there will always be something. Always. You are never ever going to get all your ducks in a row, well not for long anyway. The irony is, once you stop trying to be so damn perfect, you realise that your thing is trying to show you something. It’s trying to teach you the gift of unconditional love. And once you get it, all your annoying little flaws won’t seem to matter that much anyway.