Category Archives: Spiritual Awakening


Freedom. It’s not for everyone. Everyone says they want to be free because they imagine freedom is a state devoid of responsibility, when in actual fact, freedom requires us to be profoundly responsible. Not everyone can handle that. It means every thought, word and deed has to be impeccable. This doesn’t mean impeccable in outcome, but in intent.freedom

It doesn’t mean we can’t make mistakes or errors of judgement, because undoubtedly we will. This is because freedom is so vast in every sense, that the capacity to err is increased. It’s easy to be avoid mistakes when our range is narrow, but when it’s wide open the reverse is true.

Freedom is our natural state when we have learnt how to act in spite of fear. There are many obstacles that shackle us to self-enslavement. In a way, the shackles protect us from our power until we have the capacity to use it wisely. In this way, fear can be seen as a guardian at the door. Love is on the other side of the door, but very few understand that the key that opens the door isn’t an end to fear, but to develop a relationship with fear; a mutual respect for fear. This is because fear teaches us just as much as love and in a world of polarity we can’t have one without the other.


When wrong is always right, no matter what

Getting things wrong – ideas, beliefs, choices, people, jobs, decisions – it’s all GOOD. Because when we get things wrong, a window of opportunity opens. It creates a space of learning. We get to evaluate why what we chose wasn’t right for us. And then we GROW.

getting it right

There have been many, many times in my life when I was certain that I’d got pretty much everything right. I evaluated, reasoned and felt into each circumstance, and then I concluded that I’d got it right. Sometimes, being wrong can be the right choice. It allows us an opportunity to follow a given trajectory that starts with a decision and is played out to a conclusion.

That’s why we are here – NOT to be perfect, but to learn and grow through taking chances and experimenting in this world of form. Our greatest strength and most valuable tool is our imperfection, which is pretty much the opposite of what we have been taught.

Even when we are filled with doubt and self-loathing and our lives are falling apart , many of us still dig deep and summon up the energy to present a facade of perfection. I find that notion incredibly touching. It fills me with such love and tenderness for us all. It’s misguided, but it demonstrates the innate goodness that’s at the core of us all. We WANT to do well. We WANT to be the best we can be, but really we’ve got it all backwards.

We are already, in essence, the BEST we can be. We are ALREADY perfected. We are here to realise that and FEEL what that experience is like when lived through the human experience of imperfection. It sounds like a contradiction. It’s a paradox really as all fundamental truths are in their nature.

If we can summon up the courage to live authentically and honestly with our imperfections, whilst still remaining connected to our perfect nature, we will fulfil our purpose, the reason why we came here. For each of us, this will be different, because we are all both unique in our expression but the same at our core.

Some lives will appear to be like a car crash when viewed by others, but depending on how consciously we have lived, the very lives that look, to an outsider, disastrous, could very well be the outward signs of a life well lived from a spiritual perspective. Conversely, lives that seem accomplished and successful could quite easily be viewed as unfulfilled and less than successful in terms of spiritual fulfilment.

As we move through the years of our life, the aim I feel, is not to cease from making mistakes and errors of judgement, but to make subtler and subtler ‘mis-takes’ so that the very essence of our being can more easily permeate our physical presence. By that I mean, the more we learn from our past, the greater our capacity to fine tune the human experience. We leave behind the density of crude emotional energy – anger, jealousy, greed, etc. – and create a lighter environment for love, joy, peace and bliss to anchor into the physical.

The Mask

mask-150x150[1]When I look at actresses from the USA and also, more increasingly, the younger UK actresses coming through, I see the same flawlessly beautiful face on all of them. It’s not actually a face, it’s a mask they all wear.

Of course, they don’t all look exactly the same in detail, but they all wear the same mask. The mask they wear looks too perfect, too engineered and way too careful. It’s been engineered as a template. And the basis of the template is fear and control.

It emits information at a vibratory level. And the message it relays is dark indeed. It tells us that the highest ideal a woman can reach is physical perfection. It tells us that if you look beautiful the world will open up before you. It tells us that physical beauty is synonymous with wealth, adoration and success. This information is transmitted under your radar, so that you’re not even aware that you are receiving. It takes great presence to become aware and reject the message and its inherent programming.

It sends out a message to all the billions of women worldwide that we are not enough. It tells us that we need to devote ourselves to outer beauty in order to be happy, fulfilled and LOVED. It tells us that beautiful women are life’s winners. And most of all it tells us to conform, to fit in to the template as best we can.

European actresses aren’t quite so flawless, yet many of them are far more authentically beautiful, such as Juliette Binoche.That’s because we can see their inner essence etched on their faces. We can see their pain and their joy. We get glimpses of their suffering and their vulnerability. We can relate to them as real women. Many of the UK’s older actresses exhibit this authentic beauty too – Judy Dench and Helen Mirren, to name just two.

Of course, there are wonderful exceptions to the new UK and USA template. Women such as Meryl Streep, have refused to play ball and they stand as beacons of their craft and examples of what authentic femininity looks like. Women like Streep are empowering role models. But, our cinemas and TVs are flooded by images of women that do NOT empower.

No longer the preserve of Hollywood, this idealised version of womanhood is now firmly established in the corporate world too. And it’s all down to programming. Women, and increasingly men, are being programmed to care more deeply about how they look rather than who they are.

This obsession with the outer form is spreading like a virus, a psychotic epidemic of global proportions. And while the world takes selfie after endless selfie to upload for adoration (and ridicule), while humanity stresses over every line and wrinkle, every grey hair and extra pound of weight, the world becomes a little harder, a little crueler, a little less diversified and it becomes more regulated. And it’s been regulated and constricted by US. Because we are allowing it, and through judgement, policing it. We don’t care about the BIG stuff anymore. We are exhausted and consumed by SMALL concerns that don’t matter a jot.

We need to get over ourselves. Women and men need to grow up and stop being little princes and princesses. We aren’t the fairest in the land. Most of us aren’t movie-star-beautiful and never will be. And that’s okay. There are higher ideals to aspire to. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Be your beautiful unique self. And let the rest of it go.