Tag Archives: Awakening

Seesawing Awakening

upward_spiral_by_hmdll-d67r9peSeesawing, or non-abiding awakening, is a stepping stone towards abiding enlightenment. Anyone who relates to the “I got it/I lost it” scenario should be encouraged not demotivated. It’s a process until it isn’t anymore. Back and forth, to and fro, a cyclical path that spirals ever upwards.

Being okay with the lost it phase is just as important, more so in a way, than appreciating the got it phase. Learning to witness what the ego reaches for and grasps too tightly and letting go of even the need or desire to stay in the perceived hallowed ground is where the magic happens. Realising that even though it feels like we are falling in and out of grace, this feeling is only true because we believe in it. It’s a superficial truth at best, that seems to grow in potency the more we feed it with our energy. Noticing is enough. It’s a wave on the surface. Deep, deep down below these fluctuations, the truth of who we are is unalterable, unchanging, unassailable.

Cosmic memory reminds us that as co-creators, we choose our experience in every moment. Choosing the emotion, the energy around every happening in our reality, is where our real power resides. It feels like a paradox to simultaneously go with the flow in a state of allowing and step proactively into the creative process to create from choice, but it’s not. It’s not a role we play, it’s beyond roles.



Being awake isn’t a final destination in itself. There are many, many layers to awakening. The further you progress, the more you feel like an outsider, an alien in your own culture, country and even planet.

You will be judged mad and delusional. But you KNOW. You know that this world we live in is masked by lies and illusions. And the unravelling of one lie leads to another. Everything you have been taught is revealed as programming. But you can’t go back to a state of compliant ignorance, you don’t want that. So, in a very real way, you feel alone.

But there is something that I have discovered that makes things easier to bear. And that is that love crosses the gulf between those that are awake and those that are still caught in the deception. Love permeates everything. Even if you live in a family, town or country where everyone still sleeps, you can still connect with them meaningfully through your heart. You can still be nourished and nourish each other by heart to heart connections of love. This is by design, sacred design.

So although you may well FEEL alone, know that this is only illusion. Right at the heart of everyone, love lives. Love lives free of the illusions, lies and manipulation of this world. It is the one aspect of each of us that is untainted. 💖

Falling Head Over Heels In Love With Yourself

HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVEIn the developed world the predominant school of thought is that you buy your identity. You buy a house, car, clothes, jewellery and a phone. This school of thought invests in the notion that these things define you and in a way, prop up an idea of who you are. It’s like putting on a show, you dress the stage and the stage is you. The more richly and elaborately you dress the stage, the more successful you appear to be. This way of thinking and being in relationship with the world is insane and unsustainable.

What is success? Do you define success by wealth? What is wealth? I am one of the wealthiest people I know, not because I ‘have it all’ but because I have everything I need. There is no grasping and longing for more. I’m not hungry for stuff. Material possessions are not who I am. And that’s why I’m wealthy – I’ve dropped the desire to acquire belongings as a means of self definition. When you are happy with what you’ve got, you no longer compare yourself to others. You no longer look at what others have and want it for yourself. You are free of greed.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have nice things. I have lots of beautiful things in my home. None of them cost very much. They are beautiful because they MEAN something to ME. That is where their value lies, in their intrinsic worth to me rather than an audience.

I have a theory about why material possessions never really make most people happy. It’s because they’re subconsciously buying them for an audience rather than for their personal gratification. So after the initial rush of actually buying whatever it is, they feel flat and unfulfilled. They feel like this because the item wasn’t really bought for them, it was bought to impress others and to portray an image to the outside world. So, on it goes, buying more and more stuff. But it’s never enough to plug the hole, the sense of emptiness, that lies at the core of so many people. Buying in this way never works because the things people really want can’t be found in any shop.

People, first and foremost, want to feel loved and safe. They want to wake up every morning without fear and anchored deeply in peace. We all want this above everything else. So why don’t more of us seek these qualities, if it’s true that this is what we really want? It’s all down to programming. We’ve been programmed since birth to believe that everything we want is out there in the world and in order to be happy, we’ve got to go out there and find these treasures. Nothing could be further from the truth. Everything we need for a blissful existence lies within us. We are all rich beyond our wildest imagining.

Just because everything of worth lies within us doesn’t mean it’s easy to claim the riches we were born with. Simple, yes. Easy, not necessarily. It can be a long and painful road to get to the point where we realise this for ourselves. A successful life is finding the key that unlocks this internal treasure trove. The key is always self-love.

Instead of trying to persuade the world that we are worthy of love, we need only convince ourselves that we are loveable. So the bottom line is we’ve got to embark on a love affair with ourselves. When we fall head over heels in love with ourselves, we simultaneously fall in love with the world and the world magically and inevitably follows suit.

Do you wish to harm or heal?

harm or healComing at the world from the stance of outrage and indignation is one of the biggest spiritual traps to fall into. I know because it had me for a few years. Outrage at environmental pollution, outrage at war, poverty, etc., etc. It doesn’t matter, it’s all the same even though the object of the outrage is different. Posting on here, day after day, on suffering, injustice and pain diametrically opposes what you as a spiritual person want to represent. I’m almost ducking down now as I imagine the ‘outrageous indignation’ my post on this will provoke.

I’m not including love orientated activism here, because that is something completely different. It’s PRO-love-peace-unity-kindness-compassion. What I’m highlighting is the ANTI-brigade, of which I was a member. And I can tell you from direct experience that all it does is generate MORE of that which it opposes – MORE anger, hate, separation, fear and lack. If you think of your physical body as a generator of energy, you get to choose what you will output into the world – negative or positive energy. It’s a massive responsibility to ensure that everything you put out enriches your environment (the world at large) and your inner sacred space. Both are equally important.

Being angry, outraged and indignant is contracting, being loving, peaceful and compassionate is expanding. So on a personal level first, you get to choose whether you wish to harm or heal yourself. And the same goes for how the energy you output affects the world – your family, friends, neighbours, the air we all breathe, the plants and animals and even the weather.

Being ‘against’ something doesn’t make it go away. In fact, the reverse is true. You actually feed what you are against the more you focus your attention on it. I can see how this trap came about. Because subconsciously we all instinctively know that we are creator beings, we mistakenly believe that by the force of our intention we can blast something we don’t want out of existence. But in an energetic universe, energy is energy. Positive and negative energy are both food sources, and not just for living beings but also for ideas, concepts, organisations, religions and countries.

Everything is sustained by energy, whether that be positive or negative energy. The best way to eradicate something is to cut off its food source. You cut the cord that attaches you to whatever it is and that thing, person or event disappears from your personal reality, and if enough people do the same, it disappears from the collective reality. Why? Because it is starved of power and everything needs power/energy in order to manifest in physicality.

Perhaps it would also serve us to explore WHY we are attracted to the sensation being outraged creates within us. Could it be the ego delights in being in the right? Maybe we prop up our sense of self-importance, our belief that we are above reproach by generating the energy of outrage against someone or something we believe to be ‘less than’ us in some fundamental way? Or maybe we find it difficult to bear witness to the pain and suffering of others and don’t know what to do about it?

If you can relate to these suggested reasons for your attachment to the state of outrage and indignation, go easy on yourself. What you need isn’t self judgement. All that’s needed is a shift in emphasis from anti towards pro, from fear to love and from separation to unity. Because that’s the bottom line really, we are all intimately linked in this vast interconnected web of existence. At the core of Life, there is only the One – infinity creative, infinity curious and infinitely playful, experimenting with what works and what doesn’t.


Dark Night Of The Soul

dark nightI have never felt as loved as I do right now. Everything in my life is falling into place, one beautiful piece at a time. I’m not writing this to gloat, I am sharing this to bring hope to anyone that is in a very dark place. Last year was my dark night of the soul, my year from hell. I was in pain, despondent and directionless in many ways.

But here I am now, in the most beautiful of places. And I got here by completely letting go of what I thought I needed and wanted. I got out of my own way and allowed the Universe to flow through me. I became quiet and I really listened. I listened to my inner voice/higher self/intuition and I did as I was asked. When I stopped fighting the flow and let go, the flow washed me clean and carried me to a new place, a place that was right for me.

I paid attention to outer signs and serendipitous events and learned to ride the flow that moved through me. I can honestly say that going with the flow is easy once you get started. Because you are riding the current rather than fighting against it, it takes far less effort and you build up a sort of excess of energy. And this energy or life force is then freed up for you to consciously create.

When things go wrong for you, not just one thing, but many things one after the other, it’s a sign that you are moving in the wrong direction. The Universe is trying to get your attention and it sets up all these little blocks to get you to stop. If you ignore these signals and carry on regardless, bigger things go wrong until you are forced to stop. That’s exactly what happened to me. I didn’t listen. I didn’t stop until I was forced to stop.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. If we pay attention to our inner and outer world, we can avoid a total collapse of our lives. Maybe for some of us, and certainly for me, our lives have to come crashing down in order for us to change emphasis and direction. If you’re like me and this is where you are now, allow it all. There’s no need to be afraid. Be like the Phoenix. You will arise from the ashes of your former life to create something new, something that is right for you.

And when you do begin to rebuild, you’ll know you are on the right path because it will feel right. You’ll feel like I do now – loved, supported, engaged and purposeful.


Sacred Suffering

sacred sufferingThe beautiful thing about spiritual awakening is that nothing is wasted. Every tear shed, every anguished moment, every gut wrenching feeling of fear and soul deep loneliness is transformed by love. Love never wastes a single second of our lives. Once we signal to the Universe that we are ready by opening our hearts in trust, we are shown why our lives have unfolded as they have. We suddenly see with absolute clarity the treasures that were hidden in every pain. It’s an instantaneous gift of understanding, or grace. And we wonder why we never saw the truth of our suffering before.

We didn’t see it because we didn’t know how and because we weren’t ready. Seeing in this way often reveals our purpose to us – that most sacred of tasks we accepted to deliver before our birth into the physical. And that’s when real life actually begins for us. It begins in earnest the day we begin to fulfil our purpose.

Some of us have to suffer a great deal before we surrender to life. It’s not the only way to wake up and begin to live from the heart, but it’s effective. Some of us don’t begin to live until we are twenty, thirty, forty or beyond. But that’s okay. There are many that die before they’ve even lived one wide awake authentic moment. And that’s okay too. We have many lifetimes to perfect the art of being human.

With love and light


Breaking News: New Earth is Here, Now

New-Earth-Nation-Hands-Holding-Earth-540x372One of the beautiful qualities of New Earth is that competition doesn’t exist. We all support each other and help each other to succeed. In an abundant world, there is enough to go round for everyone – enough money, love, resources – more than enough of everything. So there’s no need to fight like starving animals over a bone.

There are no winners or losers, we are all in it together, exploring our joy, being creative and curious in our eternal journey of evolvement.  We attract everything we need by setting intentions, gaining control over our thoughts and by envisioning exactly what we want.

You’re probably looking round at the world outside your window and thinking I’m nuts. You see widespread homelessness, poverty, hunger and wars. So you think I’m a head-in-the-clouds dreamer! And I don’t blame you. The thing about New Earth is that WE CREATE IT. We don’t ascend on a cloud, knock on a pearly gate and gain entry to this mystical land of milk and honey. It won’t be gifted to us either by some benign father figure called God as a reward for being ‘good’. It’s all down to US.

So if you’re waiting for New Earth to arrive, I’ve got bad news for you, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time. New Earth is Now, or whenever you decide you are worthy and ready for it. I’m living in New Earth. I made the decision and I went for it. It’s as simple as that. Really. No struggle, no drama, and definitely no TRYING. You are either living New Earth or you’re not. There’s no intermediary place, no halfway house. And ‘trying’ isn’t doing or being, it just keeps you right where you are, trying.

Making a start

There are a few things you can do to signal to the Universe that you’re ready to become a citizen of New Earth. The first one is to stop polluting your inner space with the vibration of Old Earth. Turn off the TV, stop watching the ‘news’, throw out your newspapers and switch your focus to what you DO want. The second one, and the most powerful, is to start living it right now. That dream you’ve had for years? Yank it out of your dreams and take the first step towards actualising it in your reality. Feed your passion, even if you can’t give up your day job right away, make a start. Talk to people who are living their passion. Ask for help. Network. Start a vision board. Use your evenings, weekends and spare time productively. Even a couple of hours a week will bear fruit and get the ball rolling.

Once you make a start, backed up by positive affirmations, intention setting and envisioning, you will begin to get positive feedback and support. It will manifest from the field of infinite possibility. You will attract it to you, as sure as eggs are eggs. You are an energy worker.  Most people are unconscious energy workers, and that’s why life seems so random, but when you step  into your role as a conscious energy worker, well, that’s when miracles start to happen.  You get to decide what will show up in your life.  You pull in events, people, opportunity that resonate with the energy you’re putting out.  Try it.  I mean, really test it out.  Become super aware of everything you think, as often as you can.  Replace every negative, abusive thought with a loving, life affirming and positive one and watch your life change for the better.  What have you got to lose?

New Earth is waiting for YOU. Don’t fall into the mistake of waiting for it. Manifest! Create! It’s why you are here, Now.

With love and light

Fear Reacts, Love Responds

One of the biggest hurdles I’ve had to overcome in raising my vibration is how I react to the suffering of others. Every time a terrible event occurred, I felt it ALL personally. I raged, I resisted and I lamented. Nothing changed. Well, actually something did change – I lowered my vibration.

The reason I kept falling into this trap was due to a trick I kept playing on myself. It was a classic deception orchestrated by the ego. And I look back now on how I raged and sobbed over events such as the Paris massacre and I see that it accomplished nothing positive.

My ego told me that my anger, my anguish and my tears were transformative. That by sheer will and outrage my jagged anger could somehow influence events in the outer world of form, simply because I wanted it with such passion. And then, it dawned on me, that rather than alleviating suffering, I was CONTRIBUTING to it. Because we live in an energetic Universe as energetic beings, I was fuelling up on global tragedies and churning out more darkness, more anger, more despair and crucially more fear.

Those that plan these events know exactly what they are doing. They are creating the environment for fear, anger and separation to flourish. Every war and massacre harms far more people than those that perish as a direct result. Millions of people are allowing their energy to be hijacked by the dark side. And when people, normal everyday people, are consumed by fear, there is no depths to which they will not sink, no depravity they will not commit. When fear takes hold of us, we lose sight of our humanity.

So, one day I decided to stop giving the darkness a leg up. It was difficult at first, because it made me feel cold and selfish. I felt as though I was abandoning those that were suffering. But you know what? It was all residual programming; my tears didn’t help anyone. They didn’t help Syrian refugees, the homeless or the starving. When we lament at the suffering of others, it only serves to reassure US that we are kind, compassionate people. I think that is the ultimate egocentric position to take.

That doesn’t mean we don’t DO anything to help others. We can be supportive to those people we actually KNOW rather than people far away who we can’t possibly reach. We can send healing, love and light to our brothers and sisters in other countries and we can donate. We can pray and/or set intentions for an end to wars, hunger and disease. But then we let it go. We turn our attention back to the light that we are and be that in our relationships, homes and towns. We embody loving kindness with no drama.

If enough of us take responsibility for holding a frequency of love, light and peace in our immediate vicinity we can create a network of protection around the whole world. We can hook up and feed the network of energy that’s in alignment with the Light. Once we effectively cut off the food source that sustains and feeds the darkness, we disempower it.

So, from now on, you won’t see me participating in online rants or global cry-ins. Instead, I’ll be quietly radiating love, light, peace and unity. I’ll be loving myself by taking care of the energy I align myself with and I’ll be loving others by ensuring that I radiate the love that I am into the interconnected web we all rely on.

The New Earth is already here. We can all join it as active participants right this instant. But we have to choose it. A world of loving kindness and cooperation is a living reality. The door is wide open for us all to step through. There is another world too – a darker world of fear and separation, a world of dog eat dog. They both exist simultaneously. We have free will. We can choose either. We stand on a precipice. Will we choose abundance or lack? Love or fear? Separation or unity? Ease or struggle? It’s up to us to actively and consciously choose in every moment. Before we step across the threshold, we need to ask ‘Am I reacting or am I responding?’ Fear reacts, love responds.